Friday, June 6, 2008

freedom hangs like heaven over everyone

I have known for several months now that I need to get out of this place. Not that it is an inherently bad place. Provo has been good to me for several years, and never have I regretted the decision to come here to go to school (even though I would have actually made money just by studying at the U of Maryland). I just don't belong here anymore. Now that I have finished with school (for a while, at least) nothing remains to keep me here. Nothing, indeed, besides a low cost of living and a guaranteed place to live with a contract through mid-August. And the fact that I have no idea where I ought to go, coupled with and primarily resulting from the absolute absence of any promising job leads. (Applications to date: 23, and counting.)

I just don't know how this all is supposed to work (or even whether it is supposed to?) So far I have password-protected accounts with ten online application systems and/or recruiting networks. sends me daily emails with recommended job listings, I search regularly, and I have fourteen craigslist sites bookmarked which I check daily for promising listings. Not to mention at least a dozen publishers' websites listing job openings, plus a handful of other sites like the job board and the usajobs database. And then there are the dozens of miscellaneous postings and informational sites/articles that my mom emails me daily (I didn't even have to set up a new account for that service!) It all just seems so tedious, and even with all this I am sure that I am still missing so much. I mean I figure I must be, since what I am doing has as yet garnered no results.

I know that I should (and possibly could) be more patient about things. But I really want to go get a life. It's not here, that's for sure. So clearly I need to go out and find it. It would just be nice to have some direction, that's all. Some encouragement from the people who read (skim? glance at the title of? receive results of an automated computerized extraction of keywords from?) my resume would be nice for a start.

I'm caught in limbo between school and the real world, if that's what you want to call it. I personally am not so sure that it is real at all, since I have not gotten there yet. I'll get back to you with a more educated judgment of its reality or irreality once (if) I get in. For the moment, I'm stuck, stagnating. And I hate it.

[This post's title, in case you were wondering, is not original. It comes from a song by Iron and Wine.]

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